#sorry anyone seeing this in the ship tag who doesn't give a shit about me and my writing

[autistichalsin]

Okay, I’ve been a bit scared because I’ve been observing from the sidelines, but I do want you to know this isn’t a hateful or troll ask, I’m genuinely asking for clarification.

In my experience, “pro-shipping” has always meant ‘problematic shipping’, and all of the people I’ve talked to about this have said the same thing.

Am I the one who’s misconstrued? I really don’t get it.

Being called “pro-harassment” or “pro-censorship” is hurtful and confusing as all hell.

I don’t harass people for what they create. I don’t care to do that. I block and move on, and warn people if I know they could be upset by the content.

But I also don’t understand how certain things are justified.

I am personally not bothered by much, but I have watched friends and acquaintances go through visceral traumatic reactions because people have decided to air out their coping by sharing it with the public. (I.E, people who write romantic incestual fics, etc)

I don’t give a shit what people write. I really don’t. But it feels harmful to use the excuse of coping when you, in turn, could be hurting dozens of others.

Like I said, I genuinely am not trying to be hateful here. I’m confused, and still distraught that all of this is happening. I don’t think anyone deserves to be harassed. I just also don’t get the logic here.

Pro-shipping never once meant problematic shipping. It meant opposite of "anti" because antis would come and invade the tags and asks, calling them all kinds of names if they found their ships distasteful.

Sorry that being indirectly accused of supporting harassment hurt your feelings. Imagine how I felt, being DIRECTLY accused of supporting rape in real life because of my taste in fiction. You are throwing in your lot with people who can't distinguish fantasy and reality.

I don't like incest fics either, anon. They are triggering for me. So you know what I do? I don't read fics tagged as incest. For that reason, I have never been triggered by an incest fic. I suppose I would be if I read an incest fic that wasn't tagged as much, but you will never find a single pro-shipper who defends posting such content without a tag. You are responsible for your own experience online; it is your job to curate the content.

If it was just seeing that the fic exists that triggered the response, then I'm sorry to say they're still in the wrong. As a survivor, learning that triggers exist and how to navigate those triggers is on you. We are responsible for how we deal with our trauma. Your friends didn't deserve their traumas, and they deserve kindness and support, but requesting that people never be allowed to write distasteful fiction so that they don't have to be upset by the idea that someone somewhere shipped incest is not reasonable. Their feelings are valid; it's totally reasonable to be triggered, to strictly curate your online experience. It's reasonable to block everyone who ships the upsetting incest ships, to put an "incest shippers DNI" on your page, all of it. It's not reasonable to call them supporters of IRL incest or to accuse them of causing your trauma. It isn't hard at all on AO3 or Tumblr; they even give you the option to blacklist/filter out certain tags so you can avoid it without blocking users. There's easily half a dozen safeguards that already exist that are a lot less radical, a lot less likely to be weaponized against queer users, and a lot easier to enforce than trying to remove them.

Me writing fics, such as a character using kink to cope, can only harm a user who doesn't curate their feed (and who reads fics they know will trigger them, which I can only assume would then be a purposeful form of self-harm). Denying other survivors their coping mechanism, though, IS a direct form of harm. Stigmatizing recovery by saying that survivors are in any way akin to abusers for creating fiction is a direct form of harm.

It sounds to me like you've absorbed some very harmful and very narrow ideas of what recovery should and should not look like, and what is and isn't a good/valid survivor. You might want to reflect on why you're turning your attention to policing what survivors do to cope so much.

[gemharvest]

Gf for the character thing ? :] or maybe Nene if you received her already

I HAVEN'T RECEIVED HER YET THANK YOU !!!!!!!!! I'll do Nene too, I'll just make it her own post after posting this. :J

favorite thing about them: I love her dumbgirl swag. There's something so special to me that both her and Boyfriend are fuckin'. Dumb As Rocks. ALSO I LOVE THAT SHE'S CANONICALLY AN ARTIST that's such a sweet thing to me. I would pay one morbillion dollars for a GF commission (because she has no idea how they work).

least favorite thing about them: I WANT HER TO DO MOREEEEHGNJFN.. Like she's probably done as much as BF has so that's not a critique of the game, I just wanna see her do more. Because I love women. Oh also I think they should remake every canon piece depicting her and make her canonically fat. I often forget she isn't fat in canon and then I feel sickly when I look at like, the volume 1 cover and she's thin. W-Whe';re h.er tumm-.my go..,m,l,l,...,, <- sorry for crytyping but it fits.

favorite line: That's how you do it! <- I was gonna jokingly just go up down left right but then I remembered she says that in the tutorial. And I quote it to myself all the time so.

brOTP: Y'know what, similar to BF, I think a GF & Darnell friendship would be fuckin' s-tier. I often think abt this post Keyy made tbh. I know that's specifically the Funkycule AU and pup has them in a QPR but I do think abt it often. Also, before I was a romantic PicoGF guy my interpretation of RGB had Pico & GF as just friends, probably closer friends the longer they're in their relationships with BF cuz like, bonding over a shared partner or smthn LMAO so I'll give an honorable mention to Pico & GF friendship.

OTP: WOag. RGB. Wow I've never heard of that before. How many times can I joke about RGB being my OT3 for this game before it gets annoying LMAO anyways. I ALSO REALLY LOVE GFNENE I wish they had more fics. So bad. I'm actually shocked by how bare their tag on AO3 is. They weren't lying, fandom does hate femslash. /hj

nOTP: Is there anyone out there who actually ships her with Senpai. I think that'd be my only answer ALSO YOU KNOW WHAT. I chickened out on saying it with BF but I also consider BF and Senpai a nOTP but like, I DON'T HATE ANYBODY WHO SHIPS IT. OF COURSE. I don't think it's "problematic" to ship Senpai with either of them it's just, like, the most thought I have on Senpai is that I want to kick sand into his eyes. So that feeling doesn't really translate into a desire to see him shipped with anyone. I'm sorry to anybody who ships Senpai with either of them, I respect your grind, it is just sooooo not for me.

random headcanon: This headcanon is like, so deep into my personal GF characterization/ fuckin'. AU. If you wanna call it that atp. BUT ANYWAYS. Fuck this is gonna need quick background hold on. The canon explanation for her looking human iirc is literally just "true love" or whatever tf. But that's not as fun to play with. So instead I like to write her as being ashamed of being a demon, especially because of her parents' actions, so she masks her demon traits. And she reaaaalllly does not like letting them slip through, especially around a specific person (this is foreshadowing for something idek if I'll get to any time soon Sorry). BUT! She is on a limit for how long she can hide her demon traits until doing so starts to hurt her, either through draining her energy or like, it causing physical damage to continue hiding parts of her. And while she trusts Pico & BF, she's still got shit that she's just. Not. Sorting out. So when she feels she's about to reach a limit with it she locks herself away to rest until she's well enough to continue like normal. Girlie No (guy who is writing her to do this) (don't worry I'm going to also write her getting better abt this) I'm gonna eventually have to make a "Karl's Personal FNF Demon World Building" master-post or whatever just cuz this shit is so fun for me to work with Idk.

unpopular opinion: GEH once again idrk if this is an unpopular opinion but I've been using this to just. Complain. About stuff I have seen and disagree with so whatever I'm continuing the trend. Like Pico, I feel like I see. So many. Interpretations of her that just feel Wrong. Like I see people make her The Smart One or like. Dominant Girlboss with little substance beyond that. And it's like. Cool, yay, I love fandom misogyny. FUCK it's probably still rotting in my drafts but forever and always my reaction to this phenomenon with her is "This girl gets her hand stuck in peanut butter jars trying to eat pb with her hands. This is your Smart One?" and I should get it out of my drafts bc I'm real for that. DO NOT MISUNDERSTAND ME WHEN I SAY THIS BTW. Interpretations that smarten up BF to the same degree do not flag this to me. When making more serious fanworks with these guys, you're gonna have to give them more smarts than canon will. My issue is specifically when I have seen people still write in a degree of stupidity with BF and then just. Don't? Do the same with GF?

song i associate with them: Very basic but I think the sound is cute with her. My secondary answer would be Nelward - "Werewolf" but that's more of a. Specific Instance. That I don't want to elaborate on. grins

favorite picture of them:

Like literally all of them The Fuck you're making me choose? /silly Here's the fruits of me looking through her wiki gallery:

^ If I had to pick a single favorite, it'd be those panels from the Nendoroid comic. She was real for that. Anyways FUCK I love her. Statements improved when you remember I'm Boyfkin LMAOOOOOO..

[highlordofkrypton]

I am going to ask way to many of these

2, 3, 5, 7, 20, 31

I want to ask many more but I am restraining myself

PLEASE ASK AS MUCH AS YOU WANT, I'M IN A YAPPING MOOD!!

Linking to the ask game in question!

2. Anything you want to write but feel like you're unable to?

Porn. Straight up raunchy multiple thousand words for just filth. Feelings get in the way, we're all laughing or crying. I think it's an art to be able to focus on just the kinky stuff in a way that's engaging but not too anatomical. That's dirty but in a way that isn't gross, but just right, if you know what I mean?

I love smut, but the mental toll it takes on me to write pure smut is wild. I can usually shoot out 1k words in 15 minutes if I'm focused. It can take me three days to figure out like... where the character should kiss next 😭

3. How would you describe your writing style?

Oh gosh, are we supposed to use real writing terms? I don't know what styles there are out there, but my way of describing my writing would be: lived in.

I always say I'm a lazy writer, so I don't describe anything more than I have to. Usually, I will describe what matters to the character. I live in their shoes at that moment, and when I write, I embody their emotions as well. If the character is crying, my ass is sobbing over the keyboard. If they're angry, I'm rolling my eyes.

I do think that my style also means that the details I do include are a bit miscellaneous. It's natural to describe the setting, and clothes and items, but I feel like if you're really living in a universe, you get attached to the really random, if weird, shit.

5. What's a tag you never want to use for your works even when it applies?

THIS IS A TRICKY ONE!

Okay, let me start off by saying I am both pro and against tags. I think tags are a great way of searching up fics to make sure that you get exactly what you want, but I also think that for some fics it does a disservice to the fic. Disclaimer: I'm new to AO3 and I don't think I tag well enough.

So, on the point of disservice, I'll use my fic for example because I've been thinking about it for a while. So for Wildflowers, I consider it an ACOTAR prequel, first and foremost. While Tamsand is the main ship, I think by tagging the ship, it does the fic a disservice because the world is so rich, it doesn't just focus on the ship. There's so much more I want to gush about with people, and I find it answers so many complaints I see from ACOTAR fans who were disappointed by the rest of the books, but people will stop at the ship tag.

Also both characters are so polarizing in the fandom that if you hate one, you won't give this fic a shot which is FAIR but one of my goals was to convince readers to fall for the one they might not have thought they would, but yeah, I played myself with that idea.

I also tag to be safe than sorry so not to trigger anyone, but I'm very much a reader that is in for the ride no matter what, and I feel like tags can be spoilers, etc. Still, I do want to be respectful of others, but for me, I worry that if I tag 'SA' the fic might be misconstrued as it focuses on that topic whereas it's one scene that impacts later character development.

I wouldn't use the term never tag, but that's how I feel about tagging.

7. Your favourite AO3 tag.

Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne.

That's it. That's the whole tag LMAO.

20. Do you work on a single project or many at the same time? How does that work for you?

I've tried both and HOLY CRAP, I'm bad at multi-tasking. A SINGLE PROJECT. DO NOT LET ME START OTHER SHIT AT THE SAME TIME, I WLL FORGET TO UPDATE THE OTHER PROJECT.

Hyperfocus or bust, apparently.

31. What was the most difficult fic to write (but in the end you made it)?

Pick any of my smut oneshots, except Regrets and that is probably one of them.

I would say that my Lucien x Elain (Elucien) fic Warmth was difficult because I knew the setting and how I was gonna start it, but I don't know Elain very well (I haven't finished reading the series) and I don't write Lucien enough. It's one thing to know the character, but another thing to know how they are when they are being intimate. That was really tricky.

I always try not to re-use the same tropes, positions, expressions and wording in my smut, but since I don't write enough of it, to me, it reads like I'm writing more or less the same and... I hate that.

MY GOD I RAMBLED SO MUCH I'M SORRY

I STILL LIKED IT IT WAS FUN!!

[gentlebeardsbarngrill]

Re: discussing fan works publicly.

As a writer, I imagine coming across a post on my dash at random, of people openly criticising a fic I’ve written and the thought makes me feel ill. I think it would genuinely stop me from posting my work, maybe not permanently but for a long time.

As a reader, I’m so grateful people post fics at all. I’d be mortified if I saw people shitting on a fic I love on social media.

I think if a work is problematic and you’ve already commented to ask the author to tag appropriately or make changes and it’s gotten you no where, and you’re posting a PSA to warn people in the fandom who will be affected by the work to tread carefully, then yeah I can see how that would be necessary.

But I personally think it’s unnecessary to make a post mentioning a fic or author with comments like “yeah this fic needed to be beta read” or “this author writes this character soooo OOC” or “this character would NOT do that” or “look at this fic why would anyone ship this lmao”.

Feels like this really could just be in the DMs or a group chat or discord server where the author won’t come across it. Obviously yeah, people can post whatever they want on their blogs, but do people want to be the reason a fanfic author decides to never write again?

I’m like you. If I don’t like a fic, I just tap out. I don’t even complain about it in DMs because what if the other person enjoys it? I’m not taking that away. Just because it’s not my cup of tea doesn’t give me the right to stop someone else drinking it. The most I’ll ever do is block or mute an author on AO3 so I don’t accidentally read their works again.

These aren’t published books people are writing where public criticism is expected and encouraged. This is fanfiction written completely unpaid, usually unedited, specifically to share with a very selective fandom space.

There’s a level of vulnerability to all writing, but fanfic writers in particular, I would say most (if not all of us) choose to share our fics online because we trust fandom to be kind.

If people wanna post about their “honest thoughts” of a fic on social media, writers can’t stop them, but, god I hope y’all are being kind.

Hey ship! Thanks for weighing in on this! I appreciate your point about people being afraid to post if they hear negative criticism. Sorry for my delay, it's been a busy week. Yeah I think it's definitely a hard balance. We don't want to discourage people from writing, for sure. Writing is a gift! No one's being paid to write fanfiction.

From what I've heard from other people this week after my question was that it seems like there's a balance in terms of criticism on a specific fic. If you have a pairing that is very common, then if you write vaguely about not liking a pairing/fic it doesn't usually cause stress because it's not clear who's it is and it could be anyone. In general, it sounds like if someone wants to talk about something in a fic that bothers them, it is fine as long as they're not tagging the author/fic-- but generally just don't be a dick about it. Where it sounds like some wrinkles come in is if a pairing doesn't have a lot of fics attached to it. Then if a pairing is mentioned, it's much easier to deduce which fic it is, and then the writers may feel bad and it may seem more like a passive aggressive move. I think where it gets even more hairy is if we're not even talking about fics, we're talking just about pairings. Like I really love discussing the implications of specific pairings because I find it very useful to understand why someone might find it endearing. I'll be hard pressed to ever be pulled from my OTP but sometimes discussing pairings can help me to like a pairing I didn't like before, or just understand where people are coming from. (That's how I feel basically about all conversation, I like listening and learning from people, even if I don't necessarily agree by the end of it, being able to understand other people's perspectives help me to grow as a person, so I do think it's important to talk about things). Again though, where it seems like some of the struggle with that is if you've got a pairing (I'm going to crack ship Jackie and Buttons for this example) that isn't very common, again, it could seem like you're coming off as criticizing a fic when you may just be criticizing a pairing in general. It seems like there's a delicate balance-- because yeah I absolutely never wanna make anyone feel bad about their writing-- and like you said, writers trust that their fellow fans are going to be kind (and I never wanna betray that trust!). If they ask for feedback/ constructive criticism I'm happy to dm about it if it will help, but I don't want to make someone feel bad about their writing in general. We are all just having fun here. It does also seem like there are a lot of different perspectives when it comes to what is allowed feedback wise in fandoms, and so it seems like airing on the side of caution is a good way to go. All that being said-- if anyone ever wants to talk about things and they arent sure if what they say will be hurtful please feel free to dm me! I might be slow to respond depending on my capacity at home at the moment but i"m happy to talk it through. Also-- if I ever commit a faux pax or make someone feel bad please let me know! I never want to make people feel bad (and I try my best not to!), but I understand I'm an imperfect being like the rest of us so feedback is something I appreciate too. We all come from different levels of trauma... experience...neurodiversity, sometimes we won't say the right things from a place of ignorance, and one of the things I've appreciated over the years is when people were kind enough to give me constructive feedback about that. Anyway, thank you so much again for weighing in ship! Hope you're hanging in and have a lovely long weekend coming up! (if you're in the US, idk if the rest of the weekend is getting a day off)

[mindyourownbiscuitss]

Fans of GD have this idea of who she, this grand person, but she was human and very flawed. Nothing wrong with that but both the character and her fans don't seem to realize this. If she did not get her way, she didn't want it. She had the love and the support but SHE choose to walk away, what happens after she left is not others fault.

Also, I agree with you, let people enjoy what they want. One, these are fictional characters, so to get pressed and angry over a fictional world is ridiculous. Two, it's not hard to ignore and scroll on by. Let people enjoy what they want, don't be an @ss about it. To those angry (both in CF and PD) talk about your ships favorite scenes or moments with your own fandom. Believe me, its more fun to talk about things you love than things that make you angry.

*Sorry to go off in your asks but I'm just so annoyed with some people in the fandom.

The thing that really pisses me off as far as the D@wsey of it all, is that most of their fans are also fans of Upste@d and see no issue with the hypocrisy of Halstead being able to move on but not Casey. They like to bring up "girl code" as if it actually matters. Maybe if Gabby didn't do what she did to both Casey and Brett, as far as leaving and not keeping in touch (especially with Brett), and generally being an awful wife and best friend at the end, it'd be different. These same people that love Gabby hate Erin for doing practically the same thing to Halstead. Gabby was worse, imo, because she was married! So, how exactly is it fair for Halstead to move on but not Casey? I don't give a damn if it's only because Gabby and Brett were supposed "best friends". They're not anymore, and probably never really were. Kidd and Foster (god do I miss Foster, even if I love Violet) are her actual best friends. Like I said, I don't hate Gabby, and I wish the writers knew how to write characters off without ruining them (though I think them writing Gabby off the way they did was because Haas was trying to convince Monica to stay until the very last minute), but her fans drive me insane. Also, this rant may be because Twitter (fuck X) now doesn't block the tweets of people you block anymore and I see the toxic side of that fandom again.

And thank you! I might be ranting in general here, but I've never once said anything to anyone about who they ship, even if I'm not a fan of that ship. I never will. How hard it is to not go into the tags of other ships and talk shit and actually tweet directly at those shippers? I feel for them, but when I thought Brettsey had no hope, I stayed away from Fire and read fanfic. It was a much more pleasant experience not interacting with something that mad me sad, or mad.

Feel free to rant and talk all you want about it! This is my outlet for that because no one else watches Fire that I know besides my parents. My mom isn't that invested anymore and my dad likes everything no matter how bad it gets, lmao.

[sparkling-pink-lemonade]

(Long post ahead, reposting a reblog I made and ended up deleting because OP was an anti. Placing a "keep reading" after the repost before getting into new info. Post is screenshot heavy, and such not compatible with screen readers. I do not have energy to transcribe alt text right now.)

So anyways, there are antis in the Pico's School fandom.

I love the ship picandra (Pico x Cassandra), it's super hot, but apparently there are antis shaming it. (What don't antis shame?)

I'm not sharing OP's tags this time so it isn't as easy to find them. But the jist is that Pico isn't some pure hero, he's an anti hero. And it isn't canon that Pico has any trauma because of Cassandra. They express frustration with antis trying to demonize people who enjoy hero x villain ships.

This was my response before I deleted my post:

I'd also like to add that antis, as well as this post, are focusing on whether or not this ship is problematic due to Pico being a victim being a victim of Cassandra attacking the school. Not once does anyone mention the fact that the characters are 10 years old in their source material and that "it would be disgusting to ship 10 year olds and imagine children dating and kissing when 10 year olds would be doing nothing more than holding hands." I bring this up because of how OP then went and behaved in the comments of their post. Throwing a huge fit when a proshipper tried to inform them of what proship means.

Blue is OP, light blue is whenever they replied directly to the proshipper they were arguing against (not me), and purplish white are buzzwords creating very serious accusations against proshippers.

Any further comments from OP on their post were missing too much context due to the other side of the conversation being deleted. And such won't be commented on.

It's horribly ironic that they went on about pedophilia and their hatred for underage ships, when this post originated from a ship consisting of two 10 year olds. And on top of that, if their argument on proshipping being bad is because the dynamics of problematic ships are harmful and affect reality, then sorry to say, in my opinion as a proshipper is that Picandra is a comship. Even if Pico wasn't traumatized by Cassandra's attack on the school, she still caused irreversible damage to his life. She killed all his classmates and teacher. She is an alien who used emotionally insecure goth kids to kill humanity with no regard to the lives of her allies. She canonically couldn't give a shit about Pico, let alone be interested in him. In turn, after the attack, Pico had become a serial killer hitman that is very aggressive and closed off emotionally. If these two were to engage in a relationship, it would be toxic and abusive as all hell on both ends. But I guess that's fine because it doesn't disgust you personally. So it can't possibly be morally corrupt or questionable.

I do not plan on making a habit out of indirectly replying to anti bullshit on this level. I've already made sure OP is blocked and thus unable to see this post. The existence of my rebuttal points are more for the sake of getting my own frustrations out, practice making points against a real example rather than a hypothetical strawman, as well as providing a source of positivity for other proshippers who have dealt with this or other antis like the one featured above.

If you manage to find OP, do not harass them, send them hate, or even send 'helpful information'. A person like this is not in the right mindset to learn, and such trying to rebut them any further will only cause unnecessary stress and may cause them to root themselves more into the anti mindset.

[workingforitallthetime]

that is so creepy and weird of that anon! not to mention disrespectful! to you and to anyone they supposedly know irl. so sorry you’re experiencing that 😞

thanks, anon. i've been thinking about this incident in the context of the end-of-the-year post i've been writing with some reflection about why hockey prospects have been such a good fandom niche for me, and in order to keep that post positive i'm gonna use this one to reflect a bit about one of the only negative or challenging aspects of focusing on that niche.

my initial reaction to that ask was that the anon was someone who's young and hasn't had an adequate opportunity to pick up on fandom norms, and that they sort of thought it would be funny or cool to share my blog in that way. in hindsight i can see that the wording could also be interpreted as intentionally threatening or malicious, but i think i want to continue to give that person the benefit of the doubt. the reason i want to do that is that so much of prospect fandom is young, and that means that doing rpf in this space means i have to navigate how to share it with people who are fans of these players in very different ways than i am.

in the tags for most of the umich and team usa boys i'm interested in, a lot of material is generated by people who view hockey players as individuals that they want to, or could, have a romantic or sexual relationship with. they're very much fans of the flesh and blood Real People, and i think maybe they don't see a line between their ideas about these people and the individuals themselves, because their ideas are about someone who they could -- if only the right meet-cute happened -- know for real.

whereas i am a fan not so much of any real human boys, but of a bunch of imaginary things my pals and i have made up using said boys' instagram posts and postgame interviews as a jumping off point. once you leave that jumping off point, none of the shit i make up is connected in any way to Real People. i absolutely do not ever want to encounter a flesh and blood hockey player anywhere other than a rink, and on the rare occasions when that's happened by accident i have tucked my head down and extricated myself from the situation as quickly as possible.

i think maybe for someone who doesn't have their own thoughts about hockey players separated in that way, it's not necessarily intuitive to recognize that there's a difference between their version of fandom and transformative fandom. that means that i get my share of tiresome anons, but it also means that those (presumably young) fans may not have ever been part of a transformative fandom and don't understand that sharing transformative material with the real people it's sourced from is hugely different than sharing other kinds of fan content with them.

i have mostly navigated the prevalence of this other type of fan with kind of a live and let live mentality. they can fan their way, i'll fan mine. i can ignore all the self-insert fic in the tag, and import content into the ecosystem on my own when their thirsty captions are not to my taste. they can ignore all my gay shit and block me if they don't want to see shipping. but this incident has made me wonder if i ought to be more deliberate about explaining and reinforcing the fourth wall. if people don't understand that fandom norm, do i have an obligation to educate? do i need to start putting those disclaimers on fic? ugh, idk.

[thetardigrape]

I posted 4,102 times in 2022

That's 3,791 more posts than 2021!

187 posts created (5%)

3,915 posts reblogged (95%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@batsarebetterthanpeople

@chuplayswithfire

@ofmdaily

@knowlesian

@blvckwidow

I tagged 2,330 of my posts in 2022

Only 43% of my posts had no tags

#ofmd - 228 posts

#our flag means death - 154 posts

#ofmd fic - 46 posts

#the amazing devil - 38 posts

#yes - 28 posts

#ofmd meta - 19 posts

#fuck - 17 posts

#holy shit - 13 posts

#madeleine hyland - 12 posts

#love it - 11 posts

Longest Tag: 135 characters

#me‚ creating a tumblr post on the absolutely public website tumblr: the people who inspired this post will definitely never ever see it

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I just love how a lot of characters in OFMD are struggling with questions of identity and NONE of them are about being queer. Stede is struggling with being a weakling, an aristocrat, and a pirate. Ed is struggling with being a killer, a legend, and a peasant. Jim is struggling with being an assassin. NOBODY is like “oh no, what does it mean if I’m queer.” It’s not even a question. Fucking incredible. Love it.

1,461 notes - Posted May 1, 2022

#4

Love the implications of this:

What was he gonna do, go in there and execute them one by one with his muzzle-loaded pistol?

"Sorry, can the rest of you just hold on a minute, I need to load this again, then I can keep killing you."

1,714 notes - Posted October 27, 2022

#3

Most of my meta so far has dealt with Ed and Stede. As it should, they're the stars of OFMD.

But now I wanna talk about Lucius and Izzy. Because I've been dying over "Have you ever been sketched" for weeks and I need to talk about it. This is less of a meta and more of me just picking this scene apart because I love it so much.

The scene starts with Izzy naming a long list of chores Lucius will have to do. At this point, Lucius knows about Izzy the Spewer. He knows Izzy doesn't actually have the authority to make him do anything, and he knows a secret that Izzy definitely doesn't want spread around. So with his response to Izzy's demand that he does these chores, Lucius readies for his first blow.

Lucius has already used this line before. Crucially, back in the galley, he had nothing else to use against Izzy, and Izzy won that fight. But now, Lucius is armed. And Izzy's about to give him yet another weapon.

See the full post

2,078 notes - Posted June 24, 2022

#2

Ed: wanna do something weird?

Stede: yes absolutely

Ed: cool, take your clothes off

Stede: this sounds perfectly reasonable, okay

2,988 notes - Posted September 10, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Listen, though, Buttons is actually a really good first mate.

Noticed talk of a mutiny and brought it to Stede's attention before anything happened

Quietly coached Stede on how to be more effective as captain

Caught sight of the Spanish ships on the horizon before anyone else, including Blackbeard and Izzy

Didn't assume the fog alone would conceal the Revenge from the Spanish

Knew the movements of the Dutch merchants so precisely as to be able to zero in on them a full day and a half before their paths crossed

Very much attempted not to let Calico Jack on board

Only one besides Stede who didn't engage in Jack's shenanigans

Honestly, he should give Izzy lessons.

5,100 notes - Posted July 28, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[dirigibleplumbing]

writing update, Steve/Tony edition

this is for myself and self-accountability though obviously anyone who is interested is welcome to read and ask me questions! 

I have... so many WIPs. even only counting pieces I have actively worked on in the last month, there are... a lot. 

I’m pretty much just writing whichever story I feel like working on at the time, though I’m also aiming to finish 5 pieces to get a bingo on my round 2 Cap/IM bingo card. This round ends January 31 so that’s an average of 1-2 stories published a month if all goes well. 

Steve/Tony fic in progress: 

multi-chapter fluff, humor, dating, smut, sex toy, and armor porn sequel to “Personal “Use.” so far it is featuring way more of Morgan Stark than I thought I would ever write (this is not actually a lot, I just didn’t think I would write her ever in my entire life). 

AvAc Scott Pilgrim fusion (in the spirit of “Steve Rogers vs. the 7 Evil Exes” but with a slightly different set of exes, some help from the League of Good Exes, some help and hindrance from the League of Ambiguously Chaotic Exes (AKA Loki), and a poorly timed kidnapping thanks to Doctor Doom 

MCU smut, angst, and BDSM etiquette ranging from “...I guess that’s okay?” to “OMG WTF PLEASE TALK TO EACH OTHER.” starts soon after Avengers 1 and mostly parallels canon up until IW, where it ends and implies it will diverge further. I actually started this before IW even came out and would really like to get it done! 

MCU post-Endgame-everyone-lived story where Tony befriends and starts falling for an anonymous contemporary artist via late-night conversations over Twitter DMs 

a AvAc hurt/comfort arc reactor story 

non-powered AU featuring a heatwave and new roommates 

a sort of reverse of “Every True Thing” where MCU Steve and Tony have a spell cast on them that forces them to only speak to each other in lies. goes on embarrassingly long before anyone notices something is up. MCU, Natasha POV. this is technically complete except I can’t decide whether or not I hate it. 

Steven Universe x phase 1 MCU crossover I started a million years ago

AvAc Steve struggles to pick a birthday present for Tony, then picks one. how is this a story, you ask? yeah... I’m... working on that. 

Steve/Tony 616 stories I’ve written outlines and snippets of but need to to read and research a LOT of comics before I can do much more, yet I keep going back and writing more snippets that may not even be in line with canon:

what will someday be a long-ish volume 3 story

a volume 4 story set right after they defeat the Hood where perhaps Tony’s use of the Gauntlet didn’t go exactly as everyone thought (this one I almost know enough to finish) 

a short and trope-filled Civil War fix-it that I also feel close to knowing roughly enough to pull off 

a Steve 1st person story where I’m trying to be poetic and stuff, which will not be particularly long but will also span pretty much the entire fucking 616 timeline 

a story that is difficult to describe without major spoilers, but features, among other things, a sort of present-day + retrofuture take on volume 1 

a 616 x Marvel Noir crossover

some accidental time travel, this one is set in early canon so I could make this work

annnnd a shit ton of noncon Hydra Cap/Tony and Superior Iron Man/Steve, including one set in an ambiguous time right before volume 4 where 616 Steve and Tony end up in a very different universe

The reading and research is happening, but very slowly. This is in part because I keep changing my mind about which stories and bits of 616 to prioritize. Also I just bought a bunch of Squirrel Girl comics and reading those instead.

Steve/Tony fic I want to write but haven’t really started yet: 

a Star Wars x MCU crossover. YES I SAID CROSSOVER NOT FUSION 

a Great British Bake Off fusion 

AvAc story where Steve and Tony get trapped in the Timeless Archives and discover that... the Academy’s library is bigger than they thought. Crossover with Discworld, Doctor Who (approximately Donna Noble era), and others 

I am honestly considering writing something for Marvel Puzzle Quest. it wouldn’t really be a story so much as character summaries and descriptions of powers for 3490 Iron Woman, AI Tony, Hydra Cap, Superior Iron Man, Nomad Steve, a combo Steve & Tony character (like Cloak & Dagger, Rocket & Groot) etc. I have no idea if anyone has any interest whatsoever in reading this, as I don’t know many Stevetonies who play MPQ, and the people I talk about MPQ with online complain a lot about multiple versions of existing characters. (I for one love every single incarnation of Steve and Tony. I adore and covet the new Worthy Cap and had a lot of feelings about his event being called “Worth It.” I mean?!?!) 

(Can you tell I love crossovers?)

Steve/Tony fanart in progress: 

616 post-CW sad Tony set to Mitski’s “Fireworks” 

3490 angsty Natasha set to Mitski’s “Your Best American Girl” 

MCU angsty Tony set to Mitski’s “Goodbye My Danish Sweetheart” 

the 1872 art I posted an in-progress screenshot of a million years ago

companion illustrations and slice of life snippets to accompany “I Am With You”

this is at the bottom of my priority list, but I am in the sketching and layout stages of a sequel to “Monochrome” (shocking everyone, it is not set to a Mitski song) 

(Can you tell I love Mitski?)

if you have read or skimmed this and anything jumped out to you as something you’re really excited about, any excitement and encouragement is welcome!

[yeshihellodani]

Okay, I'm gonna post this, probably it's stupid (perhaps it definitely is) and maybe I might delete it later because it's 2 am and my english is bad so probably this won't be coherent, but I have come across these posts on the obikin tag and it has become frustrating.

The fact that people don't know how to differentiate fiction from reality is outstanding to the point that's it's not even funny anymore, and the amount of them accusing people who like or interact with the ship of being pedophiles and groomers is even more upsetting.

No one is normalizing grooming, no one is glorifying pedophilia, and no one is fetichizing mlm relationships. Most of the obikin shippers are against these stuff and would report that shit to the authorities if they see it happen on real life, because that's the thing, it's fucking fiction not the real life, these aren't real people, these are fictional characters living in a fictional world.

Also, most of the content of obikin is about when both Obi-Wan and Anakin are ADULTS and that one of them develops their attraction towards the other at the beginning or in the middle of the clone wars (when Anakin is no longer Obi-Wan's apprentice and is a Jedi Knight and a fucking general, tho there are exceptions, however it's treated like something complicated and complex. No to mention that sometimes is where the creator themself can project onto the characters and maybe vent on them, have that in mind).

In no way is fetichizing mlm relationships because most of the people who ship it are lgbtq+ people themselves.

They are also using the whole argument of: "oh but they are convincing and exposing children of this type of content and therefore confusing them and manipulating them 😭😭" I'm sorry, but most of the obikin blogs and content are 18+ y'know? Stuff that is made by ADULTS FOR OTHER ADULTS, it's not their fault that minors are sneaking into their blogs and creations even when they have explicitly implied that it is not for kids. They have also leave the corresponding trigger warnings, content warnings and additional tags when they post a drawing, edit, gif or fic to precisely prevent from children stumbling across that content.

Listen, if you don't like obikin because it's not you thing or it squicks you or because it triggers something that's totally valid and okay, and you are in your right to elaborate on why it doesn't suit to you and why you want to avoid it (there are content that I personally dislike and gives me the ick, I myself feel uncomfortable when people ship Obi-Wan and Anakin when they are still in their master/padawan dynamic, so I just avoid it most of the time) but for the love of God don't go harassing people and accusing them of shit that it's not true, you don't know that person and what are they up to, so there's no way of you knowing if they are actually the monsters you think they are.

People tend to forget that fiction is there to explore stuff that is unethical and questionable in real life without hurting anyone, that sometimes people enjoy that content not because they think it's okay but because to them it's interesting, intriguing, because they are just curious, and sometimes they even consume it because it's comforting to them (something they can vent to when it's associated to something traumatic or unpleasant they went through).

[wasyago]

if you do get shit for drawing hermits as being trans then im sorry, we really love your work and we admire you as an artist and you drawing hc as trans honestly makes our day. Representation is little and far between so seeing lgbt headcanons (and support) is sweet. honestly do what you want to do, you aren't hurting anyone by giving someone a specific headcanon and everyone sees hermits differently and you cant control that, its like shipping people do and don't do that. Just do what you want to do! This is your blog after all!

(also wanted to say that every time we see your name on dash we have to say it like that aot intro that goes sasageyo and its...something. I think its s2? who knows) but keep the amazing work, your stuff honestly inspires us so much <3

- Tango

thank you so much, this is very sweet!! it really made me smile and calm down a little, so, thank you uwu!!!!!! (also that sasageyo bit hsfsjgssjjsv, hilarious, my god, i will do that too now, even if i am... uh, me)

about the trans thing (im very sorry for using your nice ask to talk about it, but i feel like it should be said). yeah, i agree! representation is nice and it is kind of like shipping. in a way that it's okay if someone likes it and doesn't like it, if it's tagged properly, there shouldn't be any problem! and im fine with adding a single tag to a few posts, if it makes some people more comfortable on my blog!! i know that that other anon, who was really rude about the thing, wasn't that long ago and you guys probably still remember it, but this time it's... okay? they just calmly asked for a tag, it's fine! i know it's hard to respect the person who doesn't like something about you or doesn't agree with you, but if it's not something serious, i feel like we can just ignore each other? like... being on internet creates some weird interactions that we don't always know how to deal with, and it's perfectly fine!!

i don't really know what im saying, i just want to create a chill place where people can enjoy art, and finding way out of arguments is tough sometimes. like, i dont necessarily want to ignore them, but i don't want it to become something big either. i just love you guys, thank you for always being there for me and supporting me through tough times, it means a lot <3 qwq

[big-meows]

Sorry to hijack this post Ryu but I was JUST venting about this with some fellow 30+ TWST mutuals over on Bluesky.

I was on twitter searching my ship tags (as one does) and I encountered a JamiKali anti crowd-sourcing reasons the ship is "bad" because they didn't want to talk about it on TikTok. (Literally: "Is JamiKali brother coded??? Bcs I hate talking about Jamikali on TikTok and I need reasonable answers to why Jamikali is bad") and it kind of stopped me in my tracks. This person doesn't vibe with the ship, and that's fine. But instead of seeing "this ship gives me the icks and I'm not interested in discussing it" as a valid option, they had to poll their followers for reasons why it's irredeemable and immoral. "Brother-coded" is a wild ass reach as well, there's a slew of reasons you might choose to pass on JamiKali (the power dynamics and mind control come to mind first and foremost) but "brother-coded" is an anti stand-in for "feels incestuous" and the story is perfectly crystal clear that these characters are NOT brothers. Kalim might feel like they are, but canonically, Kalim is not paying attention to Jamil's feelings. They're not related, they're not even friends, really. They're not "brother-coded," period end of subject.

But the reach for it as a reason to shoot the ship down and shame people for it is telling. Remember that none of this started because anyone truly thought complicated fiction was dangerous to the psyche. It started because it's Ship Wars: Psychological Warfare edition. It started because fandom got big and mainstream and media started getting more queer friendly, and when faced with the prospect of their queer ships becoming actually factually canon, fans started getting nasty about it. My rival ship has few year age gap, so if I start calling it pedophilia, maybe those shippers will feel sufficiently shamed and my ship will be made canon. My rival ship is childhood best friends, so if I call it incest, it will never be canon and my morally superior, righteous ship will reign supreme. Young fans, who now play in the same sandbox with old fans, because there is only one sandbox now and it's also filled with bots and bigots and is blaring ads at you 24/7, saw this and internalized it because of course incest is bad. Of course pedophilia is bad. You don't want to be bad, do you?? In the past you could say, even of actual incestuous ships, that you didn't like that sort of thing and move on. But no one's capable of doing that anymore. You have to have a laundry list of why the things you don't like are problematic and irredeemable, and everyone who DOES like that thing is a sex criminal, because that's how you make those people and those ships go away.

And bullies saw this and saw that it works, and that people don't want to argue to the contrary because they KNOW they'll be the next target to get ostracized/doxxed/harassed into suicide. Bullies know that if they have any weight at all to throw around in their community that they can just make shit up and the mob will do the dirty work. Because you don't want to be an abuse apologist, do you?? Abuse is bad.

It's all made up. All of it. They know violent video games don't cause school shootings. They know D&D isn't a gateway to satanism. They know Hitachiin twincest fic doesn't turn you into a sex pest. But that was never the point. It's all ship wars, and controlling people, all the way down.

Congratulations to the asker for getting out, I hope you're happier and healthier now! And also thank you to Ryu for being unapologetically yourself, you're one of the first TWST accounts I felt comfortable following. I truly think letting your freak flag fly and leading by example is the best way to combat this sort of thing. (Sorry for hijacking your post lmaoooo)

If you don't mind me just kinda talking to the void in your ask box, seeing so many people come here and talk about how much of a refuge it is to come to this blog and separate themselves from the anti rhetoric found literally everywhere else really got me thinking about how it really is such a huge breath of fresh air. It really is sad (and concerning) to see how common place the anti mindset has become in modern day fandom culture. I want to say I don't understand the mindset, but as an ex-anti myself, I actually do to an extent and it's really sad to think about one of the ways that leads so many people into this mindset.

If any of this makes any sense, in a way, it's essentially brainwashing. For a lot of people, young teens especially, you are essentially brainwashed into believing fiction actually does equal reality, brainwashed into believing that if you like these "problematic" tropes from fiction it says a lot about who you are as a person. And from how I interpret it, this thought process essentially preys on one's want to be liked by those around them and/or their fear of rejection. I know for me that's exactly what led me down that path, so many of my friends at the time all those years ago (like a decade ago at least) essentially told me shipping incest ships was like them shipping myself with my sibling. That was such a gross thought that for someone young and impressionable like I was then, it started worming the idea into my brain that enjoying ships like that really did mean I was a gross and horrible person. And the fact that I didn't want to lose those friends especially contributed to further brainwashing me to believe that mindset, because the worry always was that if you think otherwise, if you enjoy those "problematic" tropes, suddenly you're a disgusting person and you lose everyone you care about.

Joining these... Well, what's basically echo chambers of this thought process certainly didn't help, and absolutely contributed to furthering this brainwashing too. Because now that you start to believe that enjoying tropes that are "problematic" makes you a horrible person, you got this echo chamber confirming this is true, it's telling of who a person is, and you should be thankful that you don't like that stuff because it means you're not a predator or an abuser or whatever horrible thing you could call someone who hasn't even done anything as heinous as what real predators and abusers have done. And it's so concerning cause I think about how I'm lucky at the very least I was in these echo chambers with those who were my age or around my age at the time. But I so badly worry for those who are young teens in these echo chambers with full grown adults with the worst of intentions, cause for all the preaching of "problematic content is only consumed by groomers," a lot of these adult antis sure can be heinous hypocrites.

This basically turned into a whole essay at this point lol, but I think what I'm just getting at is that it's sad. It's sad seeing how predatory the anti mindset is, how anxiety and paranoia inducing the culture surrounding this mindset can become, and yet it's so widely common place in modern day fandom. It's been a few years since I've, for a lack of better terms, essentially had to be deprogrammed from this mindset myself, and even then sometimes I find myself reverting to old thoughts before having to remind myself "these characters are literally lines on a screen, they do not exist in the physical plane." So when I see people call your blog a form of refuge, I really gotta wholeheartedly agree on that. I truly do feel as though your blog, and other dark fiction fan content I will look for, helps keep me grounded. Your blog brings me back to the days before I fell deep into the anti mindset, to the days I was happily shipping anyone and anything together from Homestuck without a care of how old one character was compared to the other or how related the two characters were, and literally writing out these complex shipping charts on the school whiteboards during class periods when the classroom was empty except for me, my friends, and the teacher.

I guess this whole thing got out of hand omg, but ultimately TLDR; damn the anti mindset absolutely sucks ass, and as someone who used to be an anti I can understand on one side as to how one can end up falling deep into the rhetoric. Your blog is absolutely a breath of fresh air from all the anti bullshit I gotta sift through on a daily basis all because I want to enjoy fandom made content in the modern day, and it reminds me just how I may be considered a cringe weird little freak by most outsiders, but damn am I extremely happy to be a cringe weird little freak right now 💗💗

Posting this one separately, because it’s very big lol but also very important, and thank you from both of us for sharing your thoughts and your experience! Reading it was a wonderful way to start a day.

I am very grateful and happy that people consider our blog a space where they can talk about these things. Creating such a place was never our intention, but if our stubborn self-indulgence makes people feel good in any way in our current fandom climate, then… I don’t know, this is just the best thing to hear. That vibe you described, you know, shipping Homestuck characters, giving 0 fucks, oh my god SHIPPING CHARTS ON A SCHOOL WHITEBOARD… This feels like home lol And this is what a fandom experience should be all about. Talking to your friends, discussing stupid things, not taking anything too seriously and thoroughly enjoying yourself and the media you consume. I really want to cherish this feeling. 

It’s amazing that you left the anti mindset and don’t torture yourself anymore. You are completely right that this is brainwashing and one of the main reasons this phenomenon exists is because kids want to be liked and are scared of being rejected and ridiculed. It is natural, every generation has this thing that teens consider lame or bad and shit on it constantly. But when the moral aspect of it plays such a big role and when it makes people hate themselves for their interests and cope with it by attacking and harassing strangers on the internet, calling them slurs, doxxing them, suicide-encouraging them, or, hell, even implying that they wanna fuck their relatives for no fucking reason, it makes the whole thing dangerous.

I really hope more people either discover the joy of not taking media too seriously, but being passionate about it… or just, you know, dip from fandom spaces and do their own thing. The truth is that if this whole idea didn’t exist and weren’t so popular, the majority of people wouldn’t give a fuck about it, just like it had been before.

I am not a time-traveler, but for some reason I am sure that people who spend their teenage years agonising over not being able to ship themselves with a character after they reach a certain age, as if they’re not allowed to grow older or as if they can change it, or harassing artists for shipping characters together, won’t look back at this and feel any kind of warmth, nostalgia or satisfaction. It’s better to be cringe but to be passionate and earnest about things that you like than hurt others in order to make people like you. When you leave these groups of people, you’re usually left only with yourself and your feelings, and my guess is that looking back you just feel upset about your experience of being a fan of something instead of feeling like you’ve had a good time enjoying the thing you like.

Once again, thank you so much for this ask. And thank you for being here with us.

[levisgirll]

Hi! It's me again the levi hc anon haha.. How are you doing? I was wondering if you could do a hc on Levi having a crush who's good with kids. OR a scenario where he doesn't still know his crush that well and they're in an orphanage and a kid runs to her yelling "Mama!" and then Levi's like 'I lost my chance with her.. She's not single" and then he somehow gets to know that she doesn't have kids and she is single. Thanks!

𝐀 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 (𝐋𝐞𝐯𝐢 𝐀𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐱 𝐅𝐞𝐦!𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫)

→ Text: Omg hello there! thanks for coming back with another request 🥺💕 I am doing alright (just getting so tired nowadays cause of work-) I hope you are well though! also, this is such a cute idea for a request so thank you for sending it! I hope you like it and sorry for the delay <3 enjoy it :,) 

Synopsis: Y/N has started her new job as a nurse caregiver in a orphanage institute, wanting to look after kids who don’t have any family or parents and show them support and love. Levi, mistakes this as Y/N having kids and he is quite upset about it, defeated after he was getting to know her ever since he bumped into her in his tea shop which she usually goes to.

cute fluff, modern au, headcanons imagine ♡ —

Levi has been noticing his rather loyal customer recently in his teashop. She would come in usually all the time around the same time, and get the same tea that Levi would prepare minutes before she comes in.

He developed a small which later grew to a big crush on her and he decided to take his chance to get to know her and chat with her.

“Here, it’s on the house. Also, I didn’t get your name?” Levi said while handing her drink, and then started to clean the counter.

“That’s nice of you, thanks! And, its Y/N. I assume yours is Levi?” Her smile was beautiful to him, he loved how you always gave him that smile to him only after you both have gotten close and having small chats once a while.

He sometimes wished you stayed longer and would hope there won’t be any customers in the store whenever you came in, because of the short time you stayed there, he wanted to spend every minute of it!

“So, what do you do for a living? You seem to work.” He said while crossing his arms and taking a seat right next to you. Y/N could smell in his scent which was a scent of pure black tea which he just brew for you, the scent of fresh green leaves, floral and a nice fresh mint smell. “I am a nurse working in a institute.” You say with a smile and turned to glance at him, looking handsome than ever.

“Oh? I see, that’s interesting.” Levi said, he started to become more curious about you and he was dying to know more about you too. But he decided to take things slow and also because, he did feel kind of nervous when talking to you, especially if he starts to stutter or becomes lost of words every time he makes eye contact you, because to him, you looked pretty in his eyes and he admired your beauty and personality.

“By the way, I will be shutting my teashop for a couple of days so I was wondering. Do you want to hang out tomorrow? Of course, if that is a-alright with you.” 

‘Shit, I fucking stuttered.’ He thought to himself and cursed in his mind when he realized that, and now you could see a slight blush on his cheeks. Y/N chuckled and then got up taking her purse and approaching the door to leave, “Sure, I would love that. I finish work early tomorrow, Soo maybe you could meet me there after I am done with work?”

Levi felt pleased and happy to hear how Y/N accepted his offer, now he can have a longer time to spend with his crush and he was happier than ever, getting a fuzzy feeling inside of him. Wishing tomorrow was here already. “That’s fine with me, I will pick you up then and I will find us a place to hang out.”

“Sounds like a plan! I’ll see you tomorrow, Levi.” You gave him a small wave and left his tea shop place. Oh how he adored you so much, and throughout the day he was thinking of what to wear and even where to take you, and how you would look so beautiful, also how lucky of him being able to even see you.

The next day approached, and Levi was exactly on time, and he was around the parking lot of the institute. “Hm, Reiss Royal institute? Why does that ring a bell.” He wondered but let the thought leave his mind once he started to think of you and how he was soon to see you.

“Hey Levi!” Levi looked up immediately from his phone and looked towards Y/N who was waving at him and walking towards him. He quickly put his phone away and he got off from his car as he was laying against it, and Levi was now fixing his posture, nervous a bit but stood still.

“Oi, Y/N How-” As Levi was about to ask how Y/N was doing, he was caught off guard as he saw a child running towards Y/N and she quickly grabbed her hand.

“Mama! Look I drew this for you!” The little girl said with a big happy smile and Y/N bent down and started to ruffle the girl’s hair. “Awh really? This looks amazing. I will make sure to keep this.”

After hearing that, the little girl got so happy and quickly went and hugged Y/N around her neck, while chuckling. “Thanks Mama! I will draw more for you!”

Levi, now stood there still, all speechless and his eyes widen. ‘Wait it can’t be....Is that her kid?’ He thought and suddenly went sad, feeling quite upset how Y/N might have already been in a relationship and was just thinking of Levi as a friend this whole time.

‘I..I lost my chance with her. She clearly is not single.’ As soon Levi thought that to himself, his trace of thoughts was cut off as Y/N waved her hand towards his face. “Hey, I’m talking to you! What’s wrong? You suddenly went quiet?” Y/N said in a concerned tone, not sure what made him change so quickly.

“Sorry. It’s just, your kid surprised me that’s all.” He uttered and looked away from you, feeling quite let down and how he finally lost his chance with someone he finally had feeling for and actually loved for the first time.

But, Y/N quickly held on his hand to get his attention and he turned around, looking at her. “Wait.” She then furrowed her eyebrows and suddenly started to chuckle. “Haha! Levi, That is one of my students! You don’t actually think this was my child right?”

Now, Levi went red, feeling rather embarrassed how he mistook the little girl as her daughter. Y/N kept on giggling and Levi would beg her to stop but, he felt relieved and smiled. He later then realized that, after getting to know her well that she worked actually in a orphanage institute academy and was a nurse there for the kids, and was loved by all the children that called her ‘Mama’ by how caring, affectionate and kind-hearted she was as she treated them and helped them and this made the kids thinking Y/N was their role model Mum!

Y/N would now then, tease Levi, knowing pretty well how seeing him really surprised by what happened and how he was wondering if it was actually her child or not was cute and funny to her. She then reassured him that she doesn’t have any kids and she was actually single. “O-Oh. I see...” Levi said sitting there with a slight blush, now feeling that his chance is back and he was now getting butterflies in his stomach. It was clear to Y/N that with his response that he was kind of happy to hear that instead, and it made her wonder if what she felt for Levi, was the same with him feeling towards Y/N.

In one of their hangouts, Levi finally takes his chance now, before he loses it and regrets it. He took his shot and finally asked you out as his girl. “Y/N, I want to get to know you better..” He said nervously and he went and grabbed your hand, which he caressed lovingly. Y/N went red and her eyes would widen and Levi looked at it, admiring how beautiful they were as the stars in the evening sky was reflecting it. “I want you in my life, so will you...be my girl? Is that alright.” 

Y/N smiled at him, happy how Levi finally took the step and Y/N reassured Levi that they would be having such a loving and happy relationship and that made his world hearing that, especially from you. Just though your words, made his life better and he knew from then on, he would now be happy with you and he couldn’t be asking for more than that as long as you were by his side.

Now, ever since you both started to date and go out together. Levi would always pick you up from work after you were done. Never missing a day, after all you were his priority. With this, the kids would notice Levi and see him now and then whenever they follow Y/N to the parking lot. And the kids were curious who he was and they would be behind Y/N and looking at him, a bit scared. They then liked him as Y/N explained to them that he was not scary at all and he was actually really kind and sweet. This made the kids call him Dada and some calling him Dad too!

“Wait, I’m not your- Tch, Whatever Brats.” Levi said and ruffled the kids head as he bent down, greeting them with a small hand shake, they all quickly liked him. He lowkey liked that though, at how they referred to him as Dada and Dad but he won’t admit that! “Hey Levi! Don’t call the kids that!”

The kids actually love and ship you both, they always tell Y/N when coming by to her nurse office if she is seeing Levi after school and they would ask to tag along to see him. Giving him some craft arts they made and giving it to him as a gift for always coming by to see Y/N. And, ironically Levi on that same day bought many gifts for the kids such as sweets, their favorite chocolates (since he asked the little girl what kind of chocolate the students liked) and some toys.

You then noticed Levi smiles a lot when the kids come to him and you started to find that cute and when you mention that on your way back, he denies that and goes “No, they are annoying brats anyways.”

Okay this was really cute and sweet to write so thank you for the request anon :,)! And if anyone out there enjoyed this then please leave a like, a message or a reblog! Thanks and I hope you all have a great day ahead  ♡♡♡

[deanismysavior]

Your blog is really making me hopeful that Byler will happen, although unfortunately I still don't really trust the chreators to make it happen... I mean, I've been mislead and disappointed so many times - but that wasn't the point of my ask. I sorta wanted to rant, but I am lowkey too scared to make my own post. Here we go: it really REALLY bothers me how so many of the milkvan shippers are super homophobic while "defending" their ship/attacking byler and/or byler shippers. You can really see this while scrolling the milkvan tag (biggest mistake I made, ever).

Also what I saw was so many of them claiming bylers don't care about Mike, or if Eleven gets her heart broken, etc. etc., that bylers only care about "their gay noncanon ship". It's so ridiculous that it almost makes me laugh because a LOT of the milkvan shippers (before anyone gets mad, of course not all of them) are the ones who don't give a shit about the plot, the individual characters or really any other aspect of the show that doesn't have to do with milkvan. So many of them reduce El and Mike only to each other's love interests, as if there is nothing else there. A lot of the byler shippers get these characters as individuals and think of them individually. I also saw many ppl on the milkvan tag claim bylers don't care specifically about Mike AT ALL, only as Will's love interest. What??? I really haven't seen many of these byler shippers around. And... as if many of the milkvans don't do the same exact thing. They literally do not care about Mike, or El, or anyone. Or anything that happens in the show. It's so hypocritical.

Sorry this is so incoherent, I am tired and having trouble gathering my thoughts together. Also, absolutely no pressure to answer this! I am sure many of these things have been said before.

Hi! I'm so happy that my blog has been a positive experience for you! That being said, I completely understand not having full confidence, because I know that queerbaiting is a huge issue in media, and I've experienced that pain as well *coughs* destiel *coughs*

It really is a problem that people have started to use their ship as an excuse to be homophobic. I've seen it happen a few times in my ask box and it's always really disturbing to me how much hatred these people have towards Will just because he's "getting in the way" of their ship. Like weird ass, did you even watch this season? He single-handedly saved the bones of Mordecai and the Rigbys that remains after all the lies and gaslighting. If anything, they should be thanking Will.

I also think it's super weird that people assume that we hate Mike, because personally, Mike is my favorite character. I love how layered he is and there's something about the progression of his character that really resonates with me. But seriously, why would we ship Mike with Will if we didn't like Mike? I think some people are under the impression that we only ship Byler because the ship itself is gay, which I take a bit of issue with because they make it seem like we're making shit up just to make it gay. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy ships like Steddie or Ronance, and I think they're cute and have a certain amount of chemistry, but those ships, while fun, don't hold the same weight as Byler, and I feel like people are kind of lumping Byler in with that category even though we have much more substantial evidence that something could really happen here. But Byler aside for a second, even if I wasn't for Byler, at this point, I still wouldn't be for Monstrosity because their relationship is plain unhealthy and imbalanced.

I would agree though, I've seen a lot more Mannequin shippers say stuff about them hating Mike and loving El than I've seen Byler shippers say anything negative about Mike (other than in an affectionate or joking way). It's honestly weird bc why would you want El with Mike if you don't like Mike?? Make it make sense.

[jonathanbiers]

Listen I don’t care for hellcheer particularly, but I’m rooting for them for your spite! I hate when people forget that filtering tags exists and then make it out to be someone’s fault for running their blog how they see fit. Especially since the ships you post aren’t like morally reprehensible in any way. Anyway as a ride or die steddie who respects those who are mutli shippers I’m sorry you’re getting so much hate.

i feel like saying i'm getting hate is a stretch. i never said that gjfdgk it just really fucking gets me when someone sees a ship (ESPECIALLY when it's a rare pair like edancy) that isn't hurting anyone and, like you said, isn't morally reprehensible in any way, and instead of just going, "oh, that's not for me, lemme ignore that real quick," they go out of their way to reblog or interact with a fanart or gifset someone spent hours making just to be like "???? i don't like this ship romantically." because guess what, no one asked and that creator sure as hell doesn't care if you like it, they made it because THEY like it. i saw this happen more than once in my notes today while i was at work and it irked ME and i wasn't even the original creator. it was just people who happen to follow me (it wasn't any of my mutuals but honestly i'm so picky about who i follow i don't think any of my mutuals would ever say something like that. i love y'all)

it's not like we're out here condoning abuse (cough h*rringroves) or ignoring characters canon sexualities. (cough ppl who ship romantic stobin) and it's also not a problem for people to hc eddie as exclusively gay. but it's really fucking weird when people act like even the thought of shipping him with a girl character is gross (and no, i'm not making this up, i've seen with my own eyes people saying shit like: "it feels gross to ship eddie with a woman") i'd actually really love it if they could explain to me why it's gross without it being misogynistic. and i know it's not just 'cause they don't like to see steve and eddie shipped with anyone but each other (also something i'm not making up; i've seen ppl say this shit too) because then they'd have that same energy with stonathan or other mlm ships involving the two. you know how up stargyle's ass i've been lately and i haven't seen a SINGLE person opposed. some "huh never thought of that" but no one explicitly saying "no i don't like that, platonic only." it's just when there's a woman involved. no one unfollows me for posting about stargyle every damn day, yet EVERY time i reblog hellcheer at least 2 people unfollow me. half the time someone unfollows me when i reblog edancy. (getting unfollowed is not something i'm upset by, i don't give a shit about numbers. it's the double standard there)

[dimplyowl]

Guess what, I did read your full reply, even though for some reason I couldn't see it until just now. Whether that's weird Tumblr stuff or maybe you blocked me after replying, idk.

Normally, I don't see shit like this but as this was tagged into the 'izzy hands' tag...I'm gonna take the time to respond. Because that's what happens when you don't tag your hate properly.

That's because this post is about Izzy Hands. And the Izzy Hands tag is for posts about Izzy Hands. I don't know why this is an issue in this fandom, but character tags are for posts about characters, whether they're positive or negative. That's the way it's been in other fandoms, that's the way it should be in this fandom. I also tagged it "Izzy Hands Critical" and "Izzy Hands Hate Club" because the canyon has gone back and forth so many times on what we're supposed to be using to tag critical meta so that you can keep it off your dash, I don't know what to use. It's tagged properly.

God, where to start.

...aside from keeping the crew alive through the kraken era

Y'all love to use this as proof of Izzy's good-heartedness and care for the crew, but literally when? When does he do this? Aside from shooting Ed during the storm, what does he do to protect the crew? He...gives them cake, on Ed's orders. He complains about their morale being low (one of his literal duties as first mate is keeping up morale). He can't get them to throw any treasure away even though being able to manage a crew and delegate tasks is again one of his literal duties as first mate. He complains to Ed about them not following orders--if he was trying to protect them from Ed, why the fuck would he go tattle on them? How is that protecting them? He's just highlighting his own inability to control the crew at this point, after Ed's just told him if he can't do his job someone else will. Again, Izzy is the first mate, his literal job is to carry out his captain's orders. He's literally a middle manager, and he's not even good at it.

He doesn't try and stop Ed from threatening the crew, he lets Ed point a loaded gun at them without a word, and it's only when Ed turns the gun on himself that Izzy stops him. Which, good, yeah, is something good that he actually does, but which he then completely undermines by blaming the morale on the ship on Ed's love and heartbreak over Stede. Fucking wild take because morale was actually pretty fucking good even with Ed's heartbreak before Izzy, you know, threatened to kill him if he didn't pull himself up by his bootstraps and turn back into Blackbeard, who Ed had multiple times said he didn't want to be anymore.

Literally...where? I think it's just bad writing but most things Ed 'did to say sorry' were turned into jokes - the safe space ship apology, the bell and the sack, being pushed off the ship...they're just empty stupid little gestures that don't help anyone. If anything they are designed to make HIM feel better about what he did.

Well, duh, they were turned into jokes. This is a fucking comedy show. Ep4 is a return to the show's baseline mood after the drama of the first story arc in s2. The second story arc is about bringing the crew back together and beginning the process of healing. Maybe you didn't notice, but Stede's crew trying to reconnect and help the kraken crew is also played off as a joke. That doesn't make it any less meaningful.

You point out me giving Ed grace for not having the skills to make what we would consider a good apology. Yes, I do give him grace. (I would give Izzy the same grace if there were any fucking attempt made at an apology at all.) Aside from Lucius, the crew is all pretty good with Ed's apology. Roach, who was marooned and left to die, says it was amazing. Jim, who was forced to fight Archie, says they thought it was pretty good actually. Fang, as the person who's sailed under Ed the longest (besides Izzy) actually gets the opportunity to have a one-on-one conversation with Ed about how frightened he was of Ed during that time, but that they're good now. So it seems to me that most of the people that Ed hurt actually do find his actions and the gestures he's made to be helpful in healing their hurt.

the bell and the sack, being pushed off the ship...they're just empty stupid little gestures that don't help anyone.

These are literally the crew's requests for what they need to feel safe on the ship. These aren't things that Ed imposed on himself as what he thinks are appropriate actions to take. The bell was Pete's idea. The sack--well idk who's idea it was, but Ed clearly says that it was a crew request in his little speech. Ed offers Lucius whatever he can to make him feel better, proposes an eye for an eye, letting Lucius push him off the ship, to which Lucius says "actually that could be huge for me." (Pushing Ed off the ship not working isn't Ed's fault, and it isn't Lucius' either, and at that point it's clear that Lucius has some deeper problems to work through that aren't going to be solved by anything Ed does, and that's also fine. Lucius I think is actually a really interesting example to contrast to the rest of the crew, as someone who continues to struggle with his lingering trauma past everyone else moving on.) Maybe from your point of view, these aren't big things, they aren't enough, but clearly they were enough for the people who were hurt, since it was what they asked for.

Aside from that, God, what did Izzy ever do to make amends?

He lost his LEG. And his LIFE.

Getting shot??? Isn't??? Making amends???? It's literally just him reaping what he sowed???? It's what he fucking wanted???? Okay, maybe not that specifically, but he wanted Blackbeard back, and he fucking got him back. Fuck around and find out, Izzy. You wanted the remorseless, bloodthirsty, vengeful pirate captain who takes no prisoners. Here he fucking is.

The largest gesture Ed makes, is throwing a party - a party the crew paid for with all their raids, a party they buy the supplies/organise and throw, and which was theiridea in the first place.

Maybe you don't know how resource sharing on a pirate ship works. The spoils are split among the captain and crew. Yeah, the captain generally gets a bigger share--he's the captain. But the crew also gets their own share of the spoils. They've each got their own horde of treasure (which is I'm sure one of the reasons why everyone is against tossing the treasure in ep1; that's their treasure they earned, at those orders really don't make sense). By the time Calypso's Birthday rolls around, we don't really know who's got what left. In ep1 there's too much treasure, so much that they're supposed to toss it to get more treasure. In ep6, the portion of the treasure that was Ed's was gathered into one room. Where's the rest of it? No fucking clue. I'm guessing the crew has their own portions off somewhere else. So yeah, Ed is funding the party with his portion of the treasure they got during the raids. And yeah, the crew plans it and organizes it because it was their idea, and they want it to go a certain way, and have a certain feel, and also buying shit for a party when someone else is paying and there's basically no limit to how much you can spend is fucking great. And idk about you, but when I have an idea for a party, I don't then go to someone else and say "hey, I want to have a party, here are my thoughts, now you go and plan it for me." I plan my own damn party????

He got Ivan killed.

God. I hate that Ivan died, okay? It fucking sucks, I really liked him, it fucking sucks. But that's just...the hazards of being a pirate? I'm not trying to be callous or act like I don't care when I say that, it's true. Saying he "got" Ivan killed is a weird way to phrase that. We don't have details about how it happened. We just know Ivan died and, according to Fang, Ed didn't care. Attributing Ivan's death as Ed's responsibility when they're pirates is just a fucking wild take, I don't even know what to say about that.

I will say though, because you mentioned how Ed apparently doesn't care about the crew, and I can just see you using Fang's statement about Ed not caring about Ivan's death as proof of that, that we don't actually know how Ed feels about it. From Fang's point of view, yeah Ed probably didn't react much. Not in front of the crew at least. Because the last time he showed the crew his actual feelings, and his vulnerabilities, and himself Izzy threatened to kill him. So from the crew's point of view, yeah it probably looked like Ed's crewmember died and he didn't look sad or regretful about it, but how could he? He's not allowed to show weakness, he's not allowed to connect with the crew, he's not allowed to be soft. Blackbeard doesn't mourn his crew's death. Ed probably really fucking does, though. My guess is that Ed did what he does when he's feeling emotional about Stede, or anything else. He shut himself away in the cabin and drank and cried alone. Obviously this is my own guess, but that seems likely for someone that was an essential part of his crew.

Because in that episode he is lazy, and insubordinate, and disrespects his authority. Izzy is a tiny little despot with a napoleon complex, that is why he yells at Lucius imo. Not just because he's queer or femme (though that is probably part of it), but because he is a representative of everything Izzy hates about the regime on that ship - the laxness, the friendliness, the lack of structure and professionalism. Lucius is NOT a pirate, and is the closest person to Stede. Hence Izzy's ire.

You're right. Lucius is not a pirate. He was not hired to be a pirate. He was hired to record Stede's time as a captain.

He also is not part of Izzy's crew???? Izzy doesn't have any authority over him, at least not at that moment. Izzy, what are you even doing on the Revenge when Ed's not there?? We know that the Queen Anne was sailing with them too, the creators have said that before, so what the fuck are you doing on a ship that is not your ship, telling someone who is not your crew what to do? And then punishing them for very rightfully challenging his nonexistent authority? Unless Stede has given his crew orders to follow Izzy's instructions while he's absent, Lucius is well in his right to tell Izzy to fuck right off IMO, and I'm pretty sure Stede didn't give them those orders because 1 he hates Izzy, 2 he has his own people he trusts to be in charge, and 3 he probs didn't even think to leave orders behind on how to fill the time?

Stede strikes me as one of those managers whose philosophy is "as long as the work gets done, I don't care what you do, and if there's no work, then just do what you want." So why the fuck would anyone do work when their captain didn't leave them any orders on work that needs to get done?

And on that point, Izzy does walk in on Fang slacking off. He is part of Izzy's crew, so why the fuck doesn't he get any punishment for not following orders and also being lazy?

Right, because it's all the seductress' fault. Cool, homophobic, femmephobic, and misogynistic.

Likewise the 'namby pamby' comment everyone loves to point at as THE SINGLE WORST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO SOMEONE EVER

Taking my words out of context here. I was using the "namby pamby" comment as an example of Izzy turning his internalized homophobia on other people. I never said it was the worst thing that happened to him??? It is a hate crime though. Just fun facts.

He's wandering around in a silk robe, singing to the crew and being soft. And that will get him killed. Get them all killed. We already see how Blackbeard's flag makes people surrender. His reputation keeps them safe. He needs to be Blackbeard if he is going to survive.

Izzy apologises for 'feeding Ed's darkness' while dying

Right, pretending that Izzy actually cares about Ed's life, that old chestnut. You forgot the part of the apology where Izzy says he knew that it was hurting Ed, that Ed didn't want or need Blackbeard anymore, but that Izzy still needed him, so he manipulated Ed into acting the way he wanted. Getting Ed back into the Blackbeard role was never about helping Ed or keeping him safe, it was about Izzy needing to feel powerful and important by riding on his coattails. He's selfish, and he uses other people for his own needs, and all of these are interesting faults in a character and in an antagonist, but let's not erase this as his actual motivation.

Oh he bullied the crew? On a pirate ship? Oh dear! They got yelled at, that's really sad. Does he aim his gun at anyone? Force them to go on dangerous raids? Cut bits off them? Make them fight each other to the death? No?? He pulls on Fang's beard once and thwaps the back of Pete's head.

He also: undermines Ed's authority to the crew by calling him half-mad (really great job with reassuring the crew when they're doubting Ed's judgement, btw); pulls Fang's beard that we see, and Fang even says is something that he does all the time and that he hates; yells at the crew for...eating??; picks and chooses the people he bullies based on qualities he doesn't like about them (returning again to him picking out Lucius as the problem in ep5. Like you said, Pete is also not doing anything, and so is Wee John, and yet Lucius is the one that he chooses to punish because he doesn't like Lucius' overt gayness and femme characteristics?? And also probably because of those qualities he expects Lucius to be someone he can control and intimidate easily.); attempts to blackmail Lucius for being a slut; makes Fang and Ivan serve him food while he eats in front of the rest of the crew (fucking gross???); tells Ivan and Fang to execute anyone on the ship who won't fight when the Spanish are on them when fighting is hopeless (Ed, in fact, tells anyone who can to leave rather than fight because he knows they don't have a chance at fighting).... Like, the list goes on.

(And he does actually force them to go on dangerous raids. Because that's his job as a pirate first mate. And their jobs as pirates).

Um…because that would be incredibly out of character? You admit Ed isn't good at apologising but…Izzy is meant to be Dr. Phil all of a sudden?

God that's not what I meant. I don't actually expect him to say the words I'm sorry, but I expect him to look at all remorseful and try to change and do things differently. Ed isn't good at apologizing. Izzy doesn't even try.

So...why no effort to understand why Izzy did those things? Why no mention of the fact that after being almost pathologically afraid of vulnerability and softness, he literally lets a member of the crew put makeup on him and entertains them at the party? He lets them hug him. He cries in front of them.

I guess because anything that doesn't fit the 'he's a racism homophobe' narrative Izzy haters have been pushing since season 1 has to be forgotten about, because god forbid they change their opinion.

I mean, maybe reread the entire post? Because I outlined why?

Attending a party, crying, and letting people hug you doesn't make any of the shit you did a few months ago okay when you haven't done anything else to apologize or make things better. My biggest issue is that the crew doesn't know what went down between Izzy and Ed. They don't know that they suffered because Izzy threatened Ed and triggered his self-preservation instinct, which has always been to use Blackbeard as a mask and to respond to violence with violence (once again, fuck around and find out). They don't know that part of the responsibility of everything they went to lies on Izzy, and they're never given the opportunity to have feelings about that and it strikes me as someone taking advantage of the narrative that the crew knows to feel better about himself.

God, tbh I'm losing steam here and I'm supposed to be working, but I don't want to leave all of this to sit until tonight or tomorrow, so for now I'm going to leave it as this, and potentially come back with more later.

😩 one of the main things I see about Izzy and why he’s an innocent little lamb who has done nothing wrong is that he’s got a lot of internalized homophobia going on, as well as issues with toxic masculinity. And yeah, OFMD is all about taking those toxic societal expectations and telling them to shove themselves up their asses. And I think having a character who has those internalized feelings and who holds onto them until being proven that they’re wrong is an interesting character arc. Growth is a great thing! We love to see it!

The problem comes when people use those characteristics as excuses for any of izzys bad behaviors, as if they give him a free pass to do whatever he wants to do. But that’s not how these things work. The problem I have with Izzy’s character arc in s2 is that he doesn’t do anything to make reparations until his deathbed apology to Ed. He just kind of…continues to be there, ignoring Ed, letting the crew extend kindness to him and still not really engaging until Calypso’s Birthday.

You know who has done some really shitty things and does actually work toward making reparations? Ed. And that’s another thing I see a lot of Izzy fans say: that gb people give Ed a free pass for everything he did because of his childhood and his trauma and his self hatred and broken heart. But babes, when we talk about these issues, you’re misunderstanding why we’re talking about them. I obviously can’t speak for all Ed fans, but the majority of us aren’t listing these issues as excuses, we’re naming them as reasons for his behavior. So we can understand why he feels the way he feels and did the things he did.

I am fully aware that he did some really shitty things to people who care about him and who he cares about. I acknowledge that. I also know why he did them. And knowing why doesn’t make it okay. It helps me understand him more, and to know that he wasn’t doing them because he enjoyed them and, most importantly, that they’re things he regrets doing. That’s obvious throughout the entirety of eps4-6, in his hesitance to return to the ship, in agreeing to wear a burlap sack and allowing Lucius to push him over the ship, in taking time to actually listen to fang about his own experiences during the kraken era. It’s part of the entire reason they have a party, it’s part of turning poison into positivity. Ed doesn’t have great apology skills. His “apology” speech was definitely lacking as far as our modern standards are concerned. That’s fine. Those aren’t natural skills to have, they’re learned, and he never really had the opportunity to learn them. But you can see that he wants to, and he’s trying and he’s learning, and that’s the most important thing.

Izzy doesn’t do that shit. In season 1 he uses his position of power to bully the crew, to go against Ed’s orders (his captains orders; that’s essentially mutiny right there); he loses and turns his captain and a ship full of queer and poc to the cops; he then becomes captain and it takes less than a day for the crew to mutiny on him because he’s a fucking asshole and no one wants to work for him; and to top it all off, he tells his boss—his friend, supposedly, his depressed and already established to be suicidal friend—that he would be better off dead than be like he is.

Where are his attempts at reparation? Where does he turn around and say “yeah calling the cops on you was fucking horrible and I shouldn’t have done it” or “I shouldn’t have said those things when you were already struggling” or “I’m sorry for taking advantage of my power and using it to bully and abuse my employees and another captain’s crew.”? He doesn’t do any of that. He doesn’t even try.

Internalized homophobia doesn’t make intimidating your gay subordinate or calling your friend a “namby pamby in a silk dressing gown” okay. Toxic masculinity doesn’t make repeatedly insulting someone for having traditionally feminine traits and interests okay. Doing those kinds of things can never be okay. But recognizing these as faults and actively working to improve yourself and grow and apologize to the people you’ve hurt and try to make things better does make it more likely for the people who care about you to forgive you.